On Saturday, Central City Chorus held its annual fundraiser cabaret, in which the members of the choir perform a series of songs and skits based around a particular theme. This year’s cabaret was themed around food and drinks, and when Jessica told me about the theme (she’s been a member of the chorus for a few years now), I immediately suggested that she sing one of my favorite drinking songs of all time.

I’m happy to say that she took my suggestion and ran (or rather, drunkenly stumbled) with it.

Here she is, singing George Jones’ classic drinking ballad “If Drinkin’ Don’t Kill Me (Her Memory Will)” during the 2012 Central City Cabaret:

Among all the drinking songs ever written, this one ranks right up there among the best. It has drinking, it has regret, and it has a guy drinking to forget.

Here are the lyrics to the song, which I know by heart thanks to years of playing this on the jukebox at a certain dive bar in Albany, NY:

The bars are all closed.
It’s four in the morning.
Must have shut ‘em all down,
by the shape that I’m in.

I lay my head on the wheel,
and the horn begins honking.
The whole neighborhood knows,
that I’m home drunk again.

(Chorus:)

And if drinking don’t kill me,
her memory will.
I can’t hold out much longer,
the way that I feel.
With the blood from my body,
I could start my own still.
And if drinking don’t kill me,
her memory will.

These old bones they move slow,
but so sure of their footsteps.
As I trip on the floor,
and lightly touch down.
Lord, it’s been ten bottles,
since I tried to forget her.
But the memory still lingers,
lying here on the ground.

(Repeat Chorus)

And just for the heck of it, here’s George Jones singing it himself during the ’90s:

Ladies and gentlemen, screw all those “country” songs about wanting to dance with someone or — worse yet — the songs that have their own synchronized dance. If it doesn’t involve liquor, regret, broken relationships and/or a wasted life, it’s not country music.